gutter

Sponsorship Center

"Your Award Here!"

 

Honors

"I don't believe in awards."

A refrain as familiar as "It's an edgy, postmodern project" and "Who's in it?" It's hard to find someone on the scene who believes in awards--almost as hard as finding someone who isn't holding one.

Slamdance didn't believe in awards at first, but now they'll give you one for using a certain brand of story development software. John Pierson doesn't believe in awards, but he's happy to accept them. Sundance, of course, can be counted on to honor films that dangerously ride the cutting edge of independent cinema.

We here at the Slum have studied the "I don't believe in awards/I'm happy to give/accept this award" phenomenon and have decided it is a viral condition that inevitably infects the well-meaning in American independent film.

So we're casting aside any good intentions right now and hopping on the gravy train.

Slumdance is proud to offer the following awards:

 

The Smiley
For the most cheerful film of Slumdance.

 

The Mondo Grande DeLuxe
For the most extravagant film of Slumdance.

 

whip

The Whipping Boy
For best exploitation of a social issue.

 

question marks

The Cheesecloth
For best use of vagueness.

 

The Telly
For best film that should have been a Movie of the Week.

 

The Shelf
For the film most likely to be picked up by Miramax and never released.

 

 

Also in the Gutter:

See our "Your Award Here!" special offer.

And check out the Slumdance Sponsorship Center.

 

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