People just won't stop asking if we're serious, so we'll try to fake some sincerity as we tell you this: Yes, we're serious. We really are showing films--and other Experiences--in Park City, and you really can submit one for consideration, as long as it's not boring or otherwise sucky.
To help you determine if your work is boring or otherwise sucky, here's a brief guide:
- If anyone has ever broken up with a lover, joined the Peace Corps, destroyed a priceless item, changed religions, sought therapy, said "I love you" to another person for the first time or attempted suicide simply because of viewing your film, it might be Slumdance material.
- If you describe your film to others as "an edgy, pomo, decon kind of thing," your film is probably not Slumdance material.
- However, ironically, if Hollywood executives would describe your film as an "edgy, pomo, decon kind of thing," it might just be Slumdance material.
- If anyone has ever beaten you after viewing your film, it might be Slumdance material. It depends why.
- If after viewing your film people are at first puzzled, but then, perhaps days later, they suddenly find themselves seeing the world with newfound clarity, your film is probably Slumdance material.
- If your film says "student-produced at USC" under its title, it is probably not Slumdance material.
- If you produced your feature film for under ten thousand dollars, and this is your sole marketing hook, and you use this marketing hook without irony, you made your film 5 years too late.
- If audiences laugh a lot at your film (and the laughter is not merely a defense against frustration), your film is probably Slumdance material. Ditto for weeping and flagellating.
- If, when you held your cast and crew screening, every audience member, even the actor with whom you had a pleasant affair during the shoot, walked out of the screening while averting her/his eyes from you, your film might be Slumdance material. It depends why.
- If you're a friend of a friend of a Slumdance Vagrant, and you handed your work to us saying, "I don't know, I don't think this is really very good, but see what you think," we never watched the tape.
We hope these guidelines help. If you feel ready, submit to Slumdance.