November 30, 2007
Views From The Street
BROUGHT TO YOU BY WGA MEMBER & GUEST BLOGGER JONATHAN SCHMOCK
2007 STRIKERS GUIDE TO LOS ANGELES STUDIOS
CBS RADFORD
Once the "ultimate destination” for the “proletarian struggle,” now this “no frills” “bunker” is a “safe bet” for avoiding anyone you’ve “slept with.” “Ample construction dust” and “non-specific anxiety” make visiting the MacDonald’s bathroom a “high point” at this “bland”, “very casual” locale. “A gem.”
DISNEY STUDIOS
When it comes to “waving cardboard” at the shadow of a “frozen, Nazi-loving ghost,” the sine quo non is this “stand-by”, “folksy” institution. “A slice of Fascism” proclaiming “free air” and “live squirrels,” the Disney Imagineers seem to have “worked overtime” in providing “the feeling you are being recorded,” but more “for retribution than for pay.”
FOX STUDIOS
“Prius drivers and black women always honk” has never seemed truer than at this “one-of-a-kind” “propaganda stockyard.” You’ll “come for the principle” but you’ll “stay for the guilt” as host Rupert Murdoch serves up “no easy sneak out routes” and keeps “residual-philes” “hanging in till three.” Although CAA agents no longer “hand out pastry on trays,” those “in the Biz” may entertain the notion of “leaping into the fountain for a penny.”
NBC BURBANK
Getting a school bus to honk has never seemed so “chic” as at the “legendary” Burbank “chez Leno.” “Enthusiastic die-hards” stand in “long lines” to “stand in a long line” as stories of “touching John Edwards” and “creepy Ambassador Hotel premonitions” make striking at NBC Burbank the West Coast answer to “yelling at any New York office building.”
PARAMOUNT MELROSE GATE
Memories of Myrna Loy and Star Trek mingle with the aroma of “feet” and “that guy from that pilot” at this “clubby”, “old-school” “bastion of the corporate over-lord.” “Six miles of aerobic walking” and a view of “Mathew Modine in a sweater” seem a “nifty trade off“ for “your career.” Haute amenities include “shade” and “sitting on a planter.”
SONY PICTURES
Enjoy the visual ambience of “a plating company” and “people with jobs” as you “make eye contact” with “sassy moguls.” When I say “Union,” you’ll say “Kill Me“ as you “trudge” around this “larger than it looks” “Deco whale.” “How’s that iPhone?” and “What have you heard?” pepper the banter on this “seemingly endless death march.” Locals recommend the Paul Haggis.
UNIVERSAL BARHAM GATE
Don’t let “searing asphalt” and “noxious fumes” deter you from this “centrally located” “barren intersection” which insiders have dubbed “Universal’s hind end.” Make sure you try the “sunscreen” as a defense against “le sol dangereuse.” “Bright” and “minimal”, Barham boasts of proximity to a “furnished apartment complex” as well as a “graveyard,” so “ingrate picketers” can see not only where they’re headed, but also where they’re ultimately headed.
WARNER BROS
“Kick back” as an “Asian girl” makes you “chant like a Marine” and crew guys give you that “hey fag” look as you sample the many entrances to this “lavish, animation-geared sweatshop.” “Giant, plentiful, life-like murals” of “other people’s hits” make you feel as if you are “walking in a circle in the sun.” “Free Pizza” and “limitless In and Out Burgers” have recently given way to “water” and “whatever’s in your pockets.”
November 26, 2007
Just So You Know
"Chicago Style"
(shh CAW go sty el) / adj. / The proper way to eat a hot dog. According to Vienna Beef president Howard Eirinberg, Chicago style is: a water-cooked dog topped with mustard, onions, tomato wedges, "nuclear green" relish, kosher pickle spear, sport peppers and a dash of celery salt -- served on a steamed, poppyseed bun. Unless you are a child or prepared to take a lot of abuse: no ketchup allowed. Chicago style is sometimes referred to as "dragging it through the garden."
November 25, 2007
Key Words
After coming home from a holiday bash I checked my email and the Yahoo front page.
These are the words that stuck out while perusing the headlines. It's all we need to know...
*robust
*defeated
*crisis
*arrested
*dry
*monkey meat
*criminal
November 22, 2007
November 08, 2007
PAWS/LA 2007
Once again Los Angeles proves what its priorities are.
Paws/LA auction was held this past Sunday at the Avalon.
There was some great art as is the case every year.
Aside from the Warhol, the Scharf, and the Ruscha, my favorite piece was this one here, a photo collage by Daniel Arsenault valued at $9000. Worth every penny.
The auction is a great place to get art at less than its value, but during the live auction, I found myself cringing when they eeked out a paltry $1600 for this piece. Ten minutes later up for sale was a sitting with portrait photograper Greg Gorman. The bidding started at $1000, increased by increments of $100. It finally sold for $3400.
Hooray for Hollywood!
At least the terminally ill will have their pets fed and taken care of for another year.
November 06, 2007
Ever Miss Someone You Didn't Know?
I got an email yesterday informing me of the death of a high school friend. High school was a pretty long time ago. I don't remember seeing him at any of the reunions I attended but it's possible he was there - they were all intense and whirlwind.
In our high school you could be a jock, a cheerleader, a band nerd, a pot head or a nerd nerd and not be disaffiliated from any of those groups, in fact a West Aurora student was normally two or more of those things. It was a little hard for me to remember exactly which groups this guy was attached to (my memory ain't what it used to be but I knew he wasn't a jock or a cheerleader) but I was more pleasently surprised with what I learned about his adult life.
From the hometown paper:
"Brian Thomas Etheredge, of Three Lakes, Wisconsin, formerly of Aurora, died on October 31, 2007 in an automobile accident while on a hunting trip in Three Lakes.
Brian graduated from West Aurora High School. He graduated from Waubonsee Community College and attended St. Joseph's College in Indiana and Northern Illinois University.
Brian worked as an assistant curator at the Illinois State Museum in Springfield for ten years. His interest was in fine art photography. His work was shown under the name Brian Thomas and was recognized in exhibits by Chicago Magazine and the Chicago Tribune. His work was also shown in Springfield and several of his works were juried into the rental gallery of the Art Institute of Chicago.
Brian fulfilled his ambition to live and work in Northern Wisconsin. For the past fifteen years, he has been a manager for Cranberry Products in the Eagle River, Three Lakes area. He was awaiting publication of his book describing life in the north woods with his beloved black labrador retriever, Annu. A second volume was in progress at the time of the accident."
* I tip my hat and my vodka-cranberry to Brian Etheridge. Tonight I will sleep in my West Aurora High tee-shirt. Tomorrow I will hike in LA's north woods with my beloved dog and later I will work on my photo art. How did I not know him? And yet....
