blah blah blog

Somewhere there is an a-hole with my paint on his bumper

I couldn't possibly be more pissed off right now. Today someone side-swiped my car. My brand new car. My car with 775 miles on it. I'm pretty sure it happened in the time between my moving it across the street this morning to honor street cleaning laws, and when I left the house at 1:30. Now, I suppose it could've happened the night before when I was out, or in the middle of the night while parked. But, I'm almost positive I would've seen it when I moved the car and DJ watched me move the car so likely he would've seen the damage.

My theory? I watched my next door neighbor packing up his car while I was out with the dog. He was probably packing for a long holiday weekend. He was gone when I left and noticed the scrapage. I can also confidently say that if he was to have turned around in the middle of the street, which is often the practice around here, and cut it too close - he was in the perfect spot to have rubbed his mother f-ing SUV across my shiny new bumper. We'll probably never know.

I could be commiting libelous accusations here but right now it's all I got. Fuck.

Special Features

I finally got around to watching Matchstick Men on DVD. Nic Cage, Sam Rockwell, Alison Lohman, directed by Ridly Scott. Seems to me I remember it getting very mixed reviews. I found my self laughing out loud, likely most of it coming from Cage's ticks and Sam's twitters, but I enjoyed myself. The thing that I perceive being the dilemna with most people would have been the ending. Felt a little let down by the Hollywoodness of its happy sap. After some discussion on what we expected might be a different outcome, I flipped on the Special Features.

We rarely watch Special Features because most of them turn out to be ass kissing fests. "Oh, he's so brilliant, she's so fabulous, oh it was so wonderful, oh, could I please kiss it some more..." Recently we watched COMING HOME - a five star movie. Clicked on the Special Features, which at times were informative on history and the late great Hal Ashby. However, they apparently couldn't entice Jane Fonda to appear, so what we mostly got was Bruce Dern kissing his OWN ass. "...after that take that I remove the ring at the lifeguard station, Hal came up to me and he says to me, 'Dernsy, where did that come from? How did you do that, Dernsy?'" More than I needed to know.

In regards to Matchstick Men, we were hoping to find out something about their decision on the ending and I was thrilled to not only find the answer, but was entertained for another hour. Someone had the wherewithal to start the documentary process in the preproduction stage and took us through casting, and scouting, through bits of production and post production. Maybe it was helpful that I knew the first A.D., that he was well featured in these segments, but I found it highly informative to watch the process rather than have it become nothing more than a publicity stint on entertainment news. And the explanation by the writers, editor and director about the ending, one that I didn't initially think would be forthcoming, wrapped it all up for me. Not that it was completely without some ass kissing, but it was more a film study than an IT people study. This made my rating go from four stars(before the ending), to three stars(after the ending) and back to four stars.

Engagement Party In Hidden Hills

Sunday afternoon was spent celebrating the engagement of our friends Indra and Aaron. Plenty of food - most of it grilled by master chef (and one of PEOPLE'S 50 most beautiful people) Govind, the bride-to-be's brother. Hot dogs, burgers, bass, chicken, lamb chops and perfect Kobe steaks. Not to mention the oreo cookie/cheese cake dessert thingie that was in a terra cotta pot made to look like a potted flower.

And of course the several gallons of Cuervo mixed into the...

MARGARITA FOUNTAIN!! I hope the owner passes that on as a wedding present...

New Page

Just put up a new page at my art site. A few months ago I was asked to create a series of photographs using guitar pics in the hopes of getting them chosen for the new Hard Rock Hotel in Tampa, Florida. Don't know what they ended up using but I now have a series of pic portraits that was a lot of fun for me to do. Rockin' sock'em.

File This

After much indignation and phone tag, I arranged to meet with the I.T. guy from FOX last week at the office so he could take their two crappy computers, a printer and their firewall back. I also, two days later, met a FOX P.A. at the office so he could pick up a TV and a file cabinet. Only his car couldn't fit the file cabinet. He says he told "them" he probably couldn't fit a file cabinet in his car. "They" sent him anyway. He left without it. I am no longer being paid.

This week has been filled with increasingly agitated voice mails from "them" about the damn file cabinet. The landlord won't let "them" in because his contract is with my boss and my boss is now MIA. Pretty much. So I call "them" back. The FOX girl tells me it's all bureaucracy and rediculous but she really needs that $125 file cabinet. After really wanting to offer to pull it out of the office and put it on the stoop for the teamsters to pick up, I told her I would meet the teamsters - who are doing her a favor - the following day.

Is the darkness near? It's a really dim day when FOX Studios is this worried about a $125 file cabinet. And the teamsters are doing favors? Who's running this town anymore?

It's Good To Be 17 (again)

Thanks to Sacha for the fab pic of my cake and my date. Had a great afternoon with several friends at Mo's then jacuzzi'd at Gene's.

The next day was DJ's birthday - no rest for the aged. It was tacos and tequila at El Carmen. More photos at my buzznet.

Yo, I'm Hip

Today at Trader Joe's, I was unlocking my bike, as was another guy who had just done some shopping. He told me I had a very cool haircut and asked if I knew what it was called. "It's a fauxhawk," I answered confidently. "Yes!" he exclaimed, "You're right! You are very hip." Phew. I'll take hip haircuts for five hundred, Alex.

Water Works

I love walking over this bridge on Lankershim. The patterns that the dirt and water and algae make, get me to stop every time.

Haircut

Did you know that there was such a cut as the "fauxhawk"? I didn't till today - 'cuz I got one. Basically it means you don't shave down the sides, you just get it short and sassy and leave a longer sproutage on the crown to make the "hawk".

And did you know that gray hair isn't the same shape as normal hair? It's oval instead of round.

As my birthday approaches this weekend, I feel delighted that indeed, I can still learn something new every day.

Celeb Sighting du jour

Runyon Canyon this morning.
Laurence Fishburne in ethnic attire
With gal pal
& two puppy coonhounds

Puppy Poetry

MY FIRST BASKETBALL
by Oscar Madison Wilde
(with the help of DJ)

One hot Monday with ink on my paws
I lay there halfway lifeless
Then the door opened and what should I see
It was big and orange and very fresh
A ball so delicious and round
Tossed to me I opened my jaws
Bit down with so much frenzy
I was big like Shaq and oh so tall
My first basketball

Cookin' Indeed

Now I'm sure I've bought a People Magazine before in my life, but it has been years. This year's 50 Most Beautiful issue is now on my coffee table because I actually know someone who made it! Govind Armstrong is indeed a handsome fella and he happens to be very talented in the kitchen and it's about time that his Publicists made their coin on his behalf. He can be found in between the pages of People in the "Hey good Lookin'! What You got Cookin'?" category. He can also be found at the stove in Los Angeles at Table 8 on Melrose. AND he can wear pink!

DVD Library

This is an actual DVD collection I came across in a friend's home. Apparently mom does not have parental controls intact when it comes to the kids accessing the unrated mockumentary "Nothing So Strange". Which by the way is available now at amazon. Somehow though, I assume the kids would rather watch Nemo nearly getting eaten than watching Bill Gates eat it.

Barbara Loves Terriers

Dear Diary,

It was another good day for me. I met another terrier and we connected immediately. I really think we’ve got something going here. His name is Oscar and he’s got the cutest little beard on him. As soon as we were introduced, we couldn’t keep our paws off each other. What can I say? I’ve got it for terriers and this one was an instant attraction.

I hope I can see Oscar again. I think I will try to avail myself to Nora a lot more. Maybe she’ll let me baby sit. Maybe I’ll even offer her a job so she could bring Oscar around on a regular basis. Hmm. You’ve done it again, Barbara. God, I’m good.

Oh, my sweet Oscar. Till we meet again.
Love always,
Barbara

Fighting In The Streets

In the middle of the night, I was awakened by the sounds of people fighting across the street from our apartment. One very irate guy screaming at another and one guy standing by his car, never moving. The irate guy at one point tried screaming, "he's got a gun". I didn't believe him (by this time I was peeping out my window like Gladys Cravitz) but I was ready for some punches to be thrown. He then shouted obscenities about a woman who then appeared and he promptly screamed for the "whore" to get back inside. My favorite exchange, just before I called it quits and turned the sound drowning fan on was, "I'm bi-polar! You're bi-polar!"

It made me think - wouldn't it be great if there could be an invisible public address system that you could get on and it would just sound out from wherever you needed it to go but no one would know where it was coming from. "I have called the police...they are on their way...please disperse...or go to jail..." Or you could tell the leaf (dirt) blowers that come around at seven in the morning to move the Hell on. I could've used such a thing at my old apartment on many occasions. Ahhh, city livin'.

The Dog House

April ended with a bang AND a whimper. Yesterday I was informed by Fox Television Studios that I was being laid off. This came as somewhat of a surprise since my boss knew nothing about it. At least not all of it. Here's the breakdown. The boss had a development deal for three scripts. This deal was split between Fox (Regency) and Sony. He delivered two of them and ultimately they were passed on. His third script was delayed for reasons including that there was no room for it even to be considered on the current roster - so he didn't write it. When there was to be a deadline created, he could've cranked it out in a weeks time. There has been a couple months now in between the first two scripts and the pending third. Early this week he told me that Sony pulled out of the rest of the deal. He was fine with that since he didn't even like the people over at Sony. He claimed, and I assume this is through his agents, that Regency still wanted to go forward and would find someone else to pick up the other half. He's been pretty tight with his contacts at Regency. Till now.

I was trying to contact someone at Fox all week about our phones about to be turned off. It takes going through hell and high water to get anything paid because it goes through a thousand pipelines and by the time it does, they've accrued late fees and possible disconnection of everything. So when I was put through to the Vice President of Business Affairs at Fox Television, I knew something was going down. It was me. But not just me. The deal, the office, everything had been severed. After he told me I was going to be rewarded a whole two weeks pay, I reminded him that this was the last day of the month and asked if the rent was going to be paid the next day. An emphatic no. This kills me most of all since they expect me to close up shop and arrange for computer pick up, etc.

So anyway, I informed my boss of this phone call and he got on the horn with his contact at Regency. He told her, with zero emotion that this VP, among others, were cowards to have called his assistant and not him, that he has never been treated so poorly in all his years in the business, and that frankly, he had no idea how to react. He told me he would sort it all out and I should go home. Instead I went back to the office and faxed over three time cards to Fox.

Later, David and I walked over to the Steak Joynt and had a beautiful dinner with some fine martimis - what else are you going to do after a day like that - save money? Our friend Gene joined us and on the way back home we joked about the possibilities of what Oscar might have chewed up while we were away. Soon enough we found out. The South of France had hit the fan.

Several years ago, during the time that I was doing a lot of faux finishes on houses, I travelled to the South of France and purchased some earth. Literally. I found bags of the very Mediterranean colors of powdered clay that they use to build and paint with. Pure ochre and pure raw sienna, etc. I planned to use it of course, in my finishes. However, the trend had kind of waned and I moved on but I held onto this stuff - it was beautiful dirt. Beautiful dirt that was now everywhere in my apartment, in the couch, in the floor, in the air, all over the dog. The three of us spent the next half hour trying as best we could to clean up before it was too late to run the dirt devil.

Needless to say, Oscar, the real dirt devil, is now going through Nora's boot camp. No more Mrs. nice guy. In fact, it looks like we're going to be spending an awful lot of time together.