Earlier this morning about 12:30 AM I was walking down La Cienega Blvd by myself. I was wearing an early 70's baby blue prom dress with floral print Doc Martens. I had fake arm tattoos - a couple ornate crosses, a couple elaborate hearts, one with "Dad" penned aboved it, one with "Jesus". I have a #4 clippered buzz cut. I also had a tiara but I bagged it - a little too much for walking past Trashy Lingerie and Norm's in the middle of the night? Besides, I'd had it on for the last several hours and it pinched. It hurts being pure.
It was the First Annual Hollywood Father/Daughter Purity Ball"! After very little prep and rehearsal, and being kicked out of the original space four days before opening, it went off pretty well. The Bulgarian Cultural Center apparently isn't into purity! Along with the two girls who actually thought they were going to a REAL Purity Ball, only two other people walked out. The LA Times critic seemed to be having a great time and the producers were drained and happy after all was sung and done.
Passing Norm's in my purity afterglow, I had a flashback to a night in 1983. I was out "clubbing" with a handful of gay boys and when you are young the next stop for fuel after all the drinking and dancing is food not sleep. Tiny Naylor's, a googie drive-in diner on the corner of La Brea and Sunset was closing for demolition. A crime. That intersection now has three mini malls and a gas station. They were in the last days of operation, serving around the clock, with prices on every menu item going backwards daily from 83 cents, the year of closure - to 49 cents, the year they opened. I think we were there on around 63 cents day.
We'd piled into a booth and enjoyed our corned beef hash and streak and eggs... At the end of the meal I used the restroom which was actually an outhouse behind the restaurant. We had two cars of people, all heading back to crash at Guy's house. When I came out of the bathroom, everybody was gone. Each carload thought I was with the other. There were no cell phones back then.
Now, being caught up in whatever fashion trends came my way in that horrendous decade of fashion, I was dressed like I was desperately seeking Madonna crossed with Boy George crossed with a one-gloved Michael Jackson. I also probably had the same crew cute as I do today but with a neck drape mullet.
Until I could call the guys (from a thing they called a pay phone) I was forced to hang outside in the parking lot where cars were still being served by car-hops . A young couple drove up and saw me and asked if I was hungry. "No, I'm just waiting for somebody." Apparently they didn't believe me. They asked again if I was sure they couldn't bring me something. They had a sad look in their eyes. I realized then they thought I was homeless. I was good natured at this point but annoyed. Especially annoyed when they came back after eating with a go-bag in hand and asked me AGAIN! "Seriousy! I just ate!" Jesus!"
Speaking of Jesus...
Young ladies, stop dressing like sluts or people are going to think you are one.
And don't forget -stay Pure!