The best sex you'll ever have

On May 30 I printed this email from my mailbag:

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR YOU TO BE SAVED. I KNOW YOU THINK OF IT EVERY NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP, AND YOU KNOW YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO DEFEAT YOUR FEAR, IT'S SO EASY ISN'T IT, SO WHY DO YOU MAKE IT HARD ON YOUR SELF? I'M SORRY FOR YOR DEMON-FRIENDS FOR THEY HAVE CHOOSEN NOT TO HAVE A CHOISE. BYE BYE

In response, Josh Olson wrote:

Speaking as one of yor demon-friends, I have to wonder - do you ever get any well written hate mail? Any stuff that actually threatens to contain a smattering of logic and wit? In much the same way I wanted that Half Hour News Hour to be funny, I'm dying to read something from one of these nutbars that doesn't sound.... well, nutty.

If it is your choise to reply, that's cool, but you can choosen not to, as well. It just struck me as I read this...

I have choosen to reply to Josh by printing a sampling of the email I have received regarding The God Who Wasn't There since May 30, including one with advice on how to achieve "the best sex you'll ever have."

Subject: The GOD that is there!!

I was collecting tabs off the internet when I came upon your ad. Your not really serious are you? If you are, please rethink. Is it worth an eternal damnation if your wrong? If you right, than nothing in this world means squat. You live then die and nothing you did inbetween or leave behind adds up to exactly nothing. Life's then is a stupid cycle which will come to an end. If you wrong, the next life is and will always be (for a lack of a better word) Heaven! The best sex you'll ever have, no sickness, no war, no poverty. Rethink my friends!!

Subject: jesus doesn't exist?

Christ killers do! Look at all the jews in holywood. Fuck you creeps!

Subject: Hi!!!

Fuck you guys!
I hope that it brings you pleasure converting gullible and stupid people to faithless lives to reap profit. I sincerely wish that you enjoy yourselves in hell, with all the others you've dragged down with you.
God Bless!
Not a future customer,
fuck you very much you baby-eating ass fucks.

Subject: question about the movie

To: the creators of "The God who wasn't There"

God is real.
My name is [redacted], and I am 15 years old. I'm not some middle age person, who has gone through the major stages of life, before I came to believe that there is a God out there. I go to an average high school and I am faced with the same young-aged challenges that any other teenager might face. I'm not a book worm but i am a good student, I'm an average girl on the poms team, but yet, God is still as real as ever to me. Lemmie tell you, the world around me changes all the time, friends fail you and sometimes even your family, but nothing is more steady and secure to me than my walk with Christ. I know you may not understand that, but everyday I'm growing more in my faith. There were times too, when i have questioned whether God is really there. But you can not see God without faith, and faith isn't really faith if you're always expecting him to fix everything and show up right then to fix your life. Once i put faith in Him though, you would not believe the miracles he has done in my life, the peace that He gives me. Faith is not a burden, in fact it is just the opposite, it is the one and only thing that lifts my burdens.

"The God Who Wasn't There is going to feel like a knife to the heart for those who subscribe to Christianity without thought."

I've seen part of the movie, and your proof and examples were impressive, though i did not ever feel a stab in the heart, or a waver in my mind about whether He is here. I've seen God work in ways that you would never be able to prove or capture on film. God gives me plenty of evidence to believe Him. Doubt comes when you ignore all the evidence. I have 15 years of examples I could tell you, but I'm not going to write them here, unless you need more in order to believe me.
I know you may not take to-heart, or even to-mind, the words of a teenage girl. But if God can speak to the heart of this girl, this girl who's at the age when relying on God would not, for most teens, be the first option, it just makes me wonder what He can do in your lives someday.

if you have any more questions for me, I'd be happy to answer them, even though I'm sure you get plenty of emails besides mine.

Sincerely in His name,
[name redacted]

Subject: Religion Crutch

I often hear phrases like religion is a crutch or some sentiment similar to Marx statement that religion is, "the sun around which people revolve until they begin to revolve around themselves". My thought in response is "Yes, and by golly aren't you glad that you have a crutch when you find that your leg is broken," or "Do you really find yourself to be a sufficient axis of rotation?" The question always comes back to an evaluation of humankind's condition.

Subject: Keep up the good work

What a bunch of christaphobic retards. Keep up the good work, you make all God Haters look like morons.

[name redacted]

There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says in the end, "Thy will be done." ------ C.S. Lewis

From: [redacted] Subject: LOL.....................!!!

What a great idea to make $$$...........come out with a fictitious book about Religion. Guess you figured Mel Gibson made lots of $$$ -------- so you play the " devil`s advocate " and do the same. Of course all the International Strife that is happening today is " Normal ", increasing Earthquakes, climate changes threatening our Food supply ---- Normal. Each Decade is more or less the same -------- NOT. Remember , we will all die one day ------------- you then may NOT be a Confident as you are today. GOD BLESS YOU................. [name redacted]. P.S. I would rather Sponsor a Hungary Child than buy your Fictitious book....................

Subject: HEY DID YOU KNOW...

Beyond Belief Media,

I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE POSTING OR STATEING THINGS LIKE THIS WEBSITE AROUND THE INTERNET BECAUSE CHRIST DID EXIST. WHO DO YOU THINK CREATED YOU IN HIS OWN IMAGE [GENESIS 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created them.] HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOUR SINS [JOHN 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his olny begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.] EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE DOWN HERE ON EARTH THINK THEY HAVE FELT PAIN THEY HAVE NOT FELT NEAR THE PAIN THE JESUS WENT THOUGH. AND HE COULD HAVE SAVED HIM SELF AND CALLED DOWN A ARMY OF ANGELS BUT HE DIDN'T, HE CHOSE TO SAVE BILLIONS OF OTHERS IN THE PRESENT AND FURTRE OF HIS LIFE TIME. HE WAS FORSED TO HANG ON THE CRSS NAILED IN HIS WRIST AND ANKLES. AS HE HUNG ON THAT CROSS HE MADE A STATEMENT THAT ALMOST ANYONE THESE DAYS COULD NOT DO WHILE SOME ONE WAS TRYING TO KILL THEM. [LUKE 23:34 Then said Jesus, Father forgive them; for they know not what they do.] HE FORGAVE THEM WHILE THEY WERE TRYING TO KILL HIM.
IN YOUR WEBSITE YOU STATE (Fundamentalism is as strong today as it ever has been, with an alarming 44% of Americans believing Jesus will return to earth in their lifetimes) THE REASON FOR THIS IS THE FACT THAT MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN BRANDED BY COMPANYS. FOR EXAMPLE MTV AND OTHER MAGIZES AND SHOWS MAKE GIRLS BELIVE IF THEY ARE NOT THE SIZE OF A POLE AND WEAR EXTREMLY REVILEING CLOTHES THAT THEY ARE NOT WORTH BEING. THEY MAKE GUYS THINK IF YOU DO NOT HAVE MONEY ALL OVER YOU IN A GANG OR HAVE YOUR PANTS AROUND YOUR ANKLES THEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL NOT EXIST EITHER. YOU STATE THIS COMMENT TO MAKE PEOPLE "AWEAR" OF IT. BUT DID YOU TELL PEOPLE THAT IN PAST YEARS THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE WHO GO TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY AND BELIVE IN CHRIST MIGHT BE "DROPING" BUT DID YOU TELL THEM THAT THE SUICDE RATE, THE AMOUT OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE SELF INGEREYS, TEEN PREGANYS, ABORTIONS RATES, DRUNK DRIVEING AND DRUG USESAGE RATES ARE GOING UP! NO YOU DIDN'T!
YOU STATE IN ONE OF YOUR MOVIE CLIPS THAT PILATE WOULD NOT OF LET GO OF A KNOW MUDERER. PILATE BELIVE JESUS WAS INOCENT HE DID NOT WANT TO LOSE HIS THONE SO I TRYED TO TAKE IT OUT OF HIS HANDS BY WASHING THEM AND GIVEING THE CHOICE TO THE PEOPLE!!! YOU CAN BLAME PILATE FOR THAT HE DID NTO DO THIS THE PEOPLE DID.
YOU ALSO ATATE THAT THER WERE PEOPLE BEFORE WHO WERE BORN FROM A VERIGAN AND WAS KILLED ON CALVERY AND ROSE ON THE THIRD DAY. WHERE DID THAT COME FROM. IF YOU HAVE EVER READ TEH BIBLE YOU WILL KNOW THAT IT STARTS AT TEH BEGGANING OF TIME. WHEN THE WORLD WAS CREATED. YOU MIGHT SAY YOU CAN NOT SEE GOD PHYSICALY THAT HE IS NOT THERE. WELL JUST LOOK AT ME HE LIVES INSIDE OF ME AND MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS. HE PROTECTS ME FROM HARM ADN HE IS HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOW AS I SEND THIS MESSAGE TO YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO SAY SO I MIGHT GET THOUGH TO YOU AND MAKE IT WHERE YOU NO LONGER BELIVE THESE NASTY WORDS. AND ANYWAYS WHEN I LOOK AT YOU I CAN'T SEE YOUR BRAIN DOES THAT MEAN THAT IT DOES NOT EXIST. YOU DID NTO SEE WHEN THE WORLD WAS CREATED. YOU WERE NOT THERE WHEN MAN WAS CREATED EITHER. THE BIBLE TELLS US WHAT HAPPENED. HE CREATED US FROM THE FROM TEH DUST OF THE GROUND IN HIS OWN IMAGE. [GENESIS 2:7 And the Lord God fromed man of the dust of teh ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.]
PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS MESSAGE YOU CAN STOP SPREEDING THIS BAD SITE AROUND AND YOU CAN BECOME SAVED AND NOT HAVE TO SUFFER ENTERINTY IN HELL. I AM NOT SAYING THIS TO SCARE YOU I AM SAYING THIS TO WARN YOU. YOU WILL NOT HAVE ANYBODY TO TALK TO THERE AND ALL YOU WILL HEAR ALL THE TIME THE GRINDING OF THE TEETH FROM TEH PAIN AND SUFERING GOING ON DOWN THERE. YOU ARE FALLING INTO THE TRAP OF THE DEVIL HIMSELF. THE ANTI-CHRIST IS COMEING AND THOSES WHO BELIVE WILL BE TAKING TO HEVEN AND THOSE LEFT BEHIND WILL SUFFER. THEN CHRIST WILL COME BACK ONE LAST TIME AND TAKE HIS PEOPLE. THOSE WHO FOLLOW HIM. AND BELIVE THAT HE IS ALWAYS THER TO PROTCT US. LISTEN TO ME GO TO CHURCH AND LISTEN TO THE MESSAGE AND WHEN YOU GO DON'T PASS NOTES THERE, TAKE THEM. GO TO A CHRISTEN BOOK STORE BUY A BIBLE, READ IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH. FROM WHAT I CAN GATHER FROM YOUR WEBSITE YOU HAVE SCANED THOUGH IT AND NEVER READ IT. IF I AM WRONG I AM SORRY FOR ACCUSING YOU BUT I AM PROBLEY NOT. SO PLEASE ONCE AGAIN TAKE THESE WORDS I HAVE TOLD YOU INTO CONCERATION AND MAKE TO THE RIGHT CHOICE AND FALLOW CHRIST ALMIGHTY. BECAUSE HE IS THE PATH THE LIGHT AND THE WAY!

PROUD AND UN-CHANGEING CHRISTIAN, [name redacted]

Subject: [none]

Dear Gentlemen:

I am very appauled by your book. Your false acclaims toward Christianity are pathetic. As a 14 year old student at a Born-Again Christian Academy that provides the children with accurate Bible teachings, after reading your ad about "the God that doesnt exist", my heart sunk and my countenance dropped. God is not real because you simply can not see Him? You can not see the wind, but you know it is there, right? You can not see love, but you know it exists, correct? Shame on you for deceiving innocent people to believe that Jesus Christ, the Son of God does not exist. He is very real, and He is coming back for those who DO believe in Him. I have faith in my Savior the Lord Jesus Christ that He will bless those who simply believe in Him. Psalm 5:11 states "But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee." Gentlemen, I leave you with this - God is real. Jesus is real. Your DVD is a work of Satan, trying to lure in those that he wants to follow him. But you dont have to be succumbed to satan. If you simply just put your faith in God, you'll see what a turn-around your life may have =) I did, and now, every morning when i wake up, i have the joy in my heart simply of knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior.

Thank you for your time.
God Bless.


In Christ,
[name redacted]

Subject: The God who was, is and always will be!

I will be praying for all who do not believe in our one and only father, and his son Jesus who died for all of us so that we might live. I pray that they let him in before it is too late. My father and his son has done a lot for me and my life has been so much better and happier since I finally realized how to let go and let God. When I let God control my life everything is so much better, my life at home with my family and at my job.
I pray for all who do not have the peace and happiness that my father can give them if they only would believe.

Of course, thanks to the intertubes, many of yesteryear's batshit insane letter-writers have blogs now:

My guess, the creator of this film is just another Secular Progressive that hates capitalism but doesn’t hate it enough to try and make a buck off the masses of non-believers looking to find any and every excuse not to kneel and worship Jesus Christ.

Brain...broken...contradictions...too...highly...concentrated.