Atheists will burn in Hell

But Christians will get to party with Johnny Cash.

Yep, I've found something more fun to blog about than politics--religion!

Haven't had time to check on my favorite blogs lately, so I missed an exchange of Hellfire and Logicfire over at the always compelling Raving Atheist. RA, in his Godidiot of the Week post, noted how atheists often are psychoanalyzed by believers when believers are faced with a logical argument they can't refute. But RA wonders,

Why not examine the person who�s propounding the crazy theory in the first place? Why not address the maddening double-talk inherent in this sort of theology -- the notion that God wills the good, wills the bad for the greater good, but wills nothing at all so that we may have free will?

With the understanding, forgiveness and calm that is the hallmark of so many Christians, Dawn Olsen weighed in with this response:

...those who don't have faith, have nothing and they are to be pitied and showered with sympathy.

Just think of this, RA will be tortured for eternity in hell, drowning in a lake of fire with the likes of Saddam, Hitler, Osama and Ted Bundy, while you my dear will be drinking wine from a golden chalice and chillin' with Johnny Cash, Warren Zevon, George Harrison and Elvis Presley.

Everlasting life is a sweet, sweet way of saying "YOU LOSE SUCKER"!!!

Osama's a pretty religious guy, though, so I don't know what he'd be doing in Hell. He's even more religious than Elvis Presley was.

But if you made a list called "Are the most interesting people in Hell or Heaven?" I'm not sure Heaven would come out looking too good. Plus, if God has the poor judgment S/He seems to have, Dawn Olsen might be in Heaven after she dies. And she talks in that Bill O'Reilly/Rush Limbaugh ranting style all the time.

I'm just saying. If you're inclined to be religious, remember that it's just as easy to worship Satan as it is to worship God. After you die, do you want to play cribbage with Dawn Olsen and Pat Robertson--or shoot pool with Bon Scott while Ozzy belts out "Crazy Train"?

The choice is yours. I know you'll do the right thing.

(DISCLAIMER: I know that Christians are not all like Dawn Olsen, David Koresh and Charles Manson. That's because I have very many good Christian pals whom I like very much. My only hope is that they will accept Satan as their Lord and Savior just before they die, so they can come party with me in Hell.)

(DISCLAIMER: I am not myself a Satanist. I tried, but they said I wasn't cool enough. I am an atheist, but not for lack of exposure to the Word.)